The man awakens in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. "This is your doctor. We have the results back from your tests and we have found you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H. It's a combination of Gonorrhea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes."
"Oh my god!" cried the man, "What are you going to do, doctor?"
"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread," replied the doctor.
"Will that cure me?" asked the man. The doctor replied, "Well, no, but, it's the only food we can slide under the door."