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Cattle Duffing Featured

A bloke was in court in the backblocks of Queensland charged with cattle duffing - taking somebody else's unbranded cattle and whacking his own brand on them.

The jury consisted of local farmers who'd all done a bit of duffing in their time, and the accused was a drinking mate from the Linga-Longa Pub. So when the judge sent them off to consider the verdict, their deliberations took about five minutes flat.

The clerk of the court says, 'Have you reached a verdict?'

'Yeah,' said the foreman of the jury.

'Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?'

'We reckon he's not guilty, but he's got to give the cattle back.'

The judge was infuriated and started banging away with his gavel. 'You cannot reach a verdict with such conditions attached! The man is either guilty or not guilty. Now go away and reconsider your verdict.'

The jury shuffled grumpily out of the court, only to return seconds later.

'Well!' said the judge. 'How do you find?'

'We find him not guilty, and he can keep the bloody cattle!'

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